As a person gets older the likelihood someone they know will die gets greater. It happens to people of all ages, but this piece on grief is, for the most part, intended for those who might be considered adults. Children and teenagers are in a slightly different category, and, though many of the things addressed in this essay will apply to them, they will have stages that apply to them more so than to adults who are grieving.
When someone you know dies you will be in a position of needing to grieve. These are people you care for, people you love and to miss them and to grieve for their loss and your own is natural. There is no right way or wrong way to move through the grieving process. Typically, within many cultures there is a proscribed time period set aside for people to "officially" come to terms with the loss of their beloved. We do not seek to say whether one practice is better than any other, but we do know that it does take time for a broken heart to heal.
Grief has much to do with fear. If you were not so afraid of death and of what happens after death you might be able to accept the death of your friends and loved ones more easily. What you do not, nor will you ever have is the right to take that life from them. So, were anyone to be reading these lines and take it upon themselves to somehow seek a way to rationalize a murder, know that it just won't fly. If murder has been committed it will be dealt with in your courts of justice and with Karmic justice.
If you were so spiritually evolved and mature that you could, upon the death of a loved one, move through the process easily and know in your heart that it was for the best, that it was what their higher self determined to be the best thing to do you would probably be able to move through the grief and mourning in a minimum of time. We realize though, that this is more the exception than the rule and for most people you do need an extended time to mourn.
It has long been recommended by others that a person in mourning not make any major life changes if they can help it within a year or two of the demise of their loved one. This is because you are not thinking as rationally as you might at some other time.
So, though there is no magic pill we can give you, no words to say that will make the grief pass more quickly we can say to you that beyond a shadow of a doubt your loved one is fine.
It might help you to know what happens to a person when they die. There are, as in life, as many different ways to move through the process as there are people to think them up, but there are some basics involved that you can rely upon.
If a person be afraid of dying the fear disappears the instant they cross. The instant the spark of life is gone from their mortal remains they are in good hands. The maya part of life, the illusion still persists and depending upon what the person expects to happen to them after they die will occur. So, if they expect to see angels, angels will be there. So, too, though are mothers there if mothers have passed on first. There is a special tie always between mothers and their children that extends well past your existence on this plane. If it happen that a child dies before the mother does the mother might take some comfort in knowing that there will be at least one other mother there to greet her child for the child has had many lifetimes and many mothers.
Generally, depending upon the person, there will be a welcoming committee of sorts to greet them as they awaken into death. For, it is as if you were awakening from a deep dream filled sleep when you die. So, the general makeup of your welcoming committee? Mothers, fathers, relatives near and far; your guides; your guardian angels; people you had special relationships with during your life who had passed on before you; spiritual advisors and sometimes people you had admired greatly. So, you awaken into the arms of Folk in Spirit who care deeply for you and who are quite happy to see you. Then, you have a party. Why not? Didn't think we partied in Heaven did you? Well, you get a party. Think of it as a birthday party.
The next step generally is an orientation of sorts. An acclimation that takes place. Gradually the person becomes more aware of their surroundings in the same way that a baby becomes familiar with the world around them.
You are never totally alone for any of this. Depending upon your circumstances you will have the assistance of all of those who gathered together to welcome you as you passed on. Additionally, there are Folk in Spirit who act as helpers especially for those who are making the transition from life to death. Though, truth be told, death ain't nearly what it's cracked up to be. It's like another life. But, we will address that as time goes on.
Now, we will discuss Hell. It exists in the minds of those on your plane. In truth there are only planes of existence. It is you with your wonderful imagination and heart and mind who creates the degrees that exist…hot or floating about on clouds. Now, if a person dies who has, in their mind, done things bad enough to warrant them deserving of a place in Hell, they will be there. The welcoming committee party will arrange a party involving firing up the barbeque. We jest and you see how we can? Because it isn't real. The person lands in Hell and experiences hellish experiences for a time and then, typically, one of those who helps in the orientation or the person's guide will show up to help them to see there is another way to think and gently guide them to Heaven.
You might think of the many instances of injustice, of cruelty, of war and terror that exist on your plane and think to yourself why in the world when you believe those individuals should be in Hell for all time why wouldn't they be? Karmic justice is real. In some instances the individual pays for their crimes before they die. In some instances that payment, though deemed sufficient by courts and juries is not enough in the eyes of Karmic justice and the effects of that person's actions reverberate through the ages and come back, in a sense, to haunt them for lifetimes beyond their present lifetime. We ask that you not worry your pretty little heads about it. Justice will be done.
So, back to what happens on the journey. The person has come away from the hellish situation or away from their welcoming party into the adjustment period. When they have come to shed more of the illusion and can conduct themselves in a responsible sort of manner they will embark upon a period of self-study. They relive their lives and they experience everything; the good and the bad that they did. Essentially, they will sit in judgment on themselves. At hand is a council of elders, if you will, a panel of guides and teachers who will help the person to understand and sit in judgment on their own life. You will judge yourself. Now, this is important for you will experience every single cruelty you ever practiced. On the other hand, you will also experience the joyous things you were instrumental in orchestrating. It is up to you how you conduct your life. We just wanted to let you know that you're not going to get away with anything no matter how you rationalize it. Did this just lay a heavy burden on your shoulders? We hope not. It's life and you should have known it before this.
What about God? Where does the spiritual come into play with all of this? What about people who don't believe in God? Well, we would say that God is infinite and the concept of a higher self will come into play if you need guidance. Rest assured that all is well and all will be revealed when you pass on.
As time goes on the person who has passed will have the opportunity to settle into a new routine. If they are inclined there are some lovely golf courses in Heaven. There are communities to join. Your animals are all there. Did you think they go to separate Heavens? Sometimes the animals will enjoy each other's company, but many times they pass between and are with the humans who have passed. Which brings up another point. What about aliens? Yes, they are there too. All sorts of life forms exist and all pass through these stages.
Next, you get a job. Thought you'd retired? Guess again. Everybody does something in Heaven. Many still have Maya attachments and will settle into lives very similar to what they would have had on Earth. Schools, buildings, jobs, you name it and they are there. If you can believe it, there are even accountants and lawyers in Heaven.
Many of the jobs people have in Heaven involve helping others. They will help each other, they will be a part of that grand troop of people who assist others in making the transition.
At some point, the person who has died will begin the process of incarnation again. It is always an individualized experience and the circumstances will change from person to person. Sometimes it won't be very long at all before the individual is ready to come back and do it again. Think of it as being promoted to the next grade in school. Though, there are not a specified number of grades to go through. It is just an idea for you to picture a sort of progression. So, in some instances it might be a matter of days even for the person to return and sometimes it might be generations. It all depends.
On what? On any of a number of circumstances. Those circumstances might involve what the person wants to concentrate on next in learning for the life's song. Of the 15 things they might learn about only 3 had been addressed in the last lifetime. Circumstances in the world won't be appropriate for them to continue with those particular studies for another 150 years. To put their time to good use they study in Heaven. Six of one…half a dozen of the other. Though the experiences in both places are valid and important to continuing education and life experiences they are different in nature.
But, this is not to say that you've got all the time in the world to accomplish your life's song. No lollygagging about, for haven't you heard that procrastination is a sin? We jest. In any case, nose to the grind stone and be blessed.
Back to the person who is grieving. Does it help to visit a graveside and leave flowers? Certainly. Does it help the person who died? No. Does it help the person who's doing the grieving? Yes. Does the person who died care? Yes. Does the person who died know that the person who is grieving is there? Yes. Sounds pretty one sided, doesn't it? Well, it is. Think of it this way. If you want to talk to the dearly departed do so. Do it at the graveside. Do it on your way to the store while you're driving your car. Do it in line at the bank. Do it while you're answering the phone at work. They can hear you. Say anything you want to say. You don't have to say it out loud. A simple thought will work. And, you don't have to tense your muscles or be in the zone or say a prayer. Just think, "Jim, you bastard. Life is real hard now. I'm going to have to declare bankruptcy. I'm crying all the time. I miss you with all my heart. I'm so afraid." Say it. He will hear you. It helps you to heal. You'll get past the hard part of life. Time does heal these wounds. You will find your way without him. But, know that he is okay. Now, it's time for you to be okay and to eventually be happy again.
We have asked our channel to make a page for communicating with the dead. That will come soon. Our blessings to all of you this Christmas season. (December 19, 2004)
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