When you are living in a sort of yes or no life a person might be inclined to say with broad brush stroked voice, "I never do that. It just won't work for me." And they will never again make an attempt to accomplish the task in question. What had happened to them was that once upon a time they made an attempt to do something, say, write a book. It fell flat. They were stumped for ideas. It just would not flow. The characters were stiff and unyielding. Dialogue was stupid. The idea of having anyone read this mess was too embarrassing to be countenanced.
And, after that one failed attempt the person could safely say, "I will never do that. It just won't work for me."
That was also 20 years ago. Need we remind you that as time passes you change?
The above scenario is marked with very clear boundaries. The boundary between, "No, I can't do this so I never tried again." and "Yes, this works for me." are quite clear. One side is yes and the other side is no.
The exercise for today is rather simple. You are to imagine that your very clear areas of yes and no meld somewhat to become something more along the lines of what a fearless four year old child would say of, "Yes. I want to try this. I want to experience this. Whatever I do is perfect."
This exercise is not intended to change your moral stance on any issue. As a mature adult you know the difference between right and wrong and we are not dealing with that. What we are dealing with is that area of your brain, that part of your heart, the memories that prevent you from achieving a dream.
So, whether you practice meditative techniques or not, sit quietly at your desk or in your chair. Nobody is around to bother you. The phone will not ring. This means you are doing this at 4 in the morning before anybody gets up or at 11 at night after they have all gone to bed. It is quiet.
If you feel it necessary to listen to some sort of calming music, do so. Or, just put some headphones on without anything playing to help insulate you from the world outside.
As you sit there quietly imagine a large scoop, like a sugar or flour scoop in front of you. With each in-breath it draws ready in front of you, poised to take action and on each out-breath it scoops away the interference and distractions pecking at your brain. You are going into a semi deep quiet place where you can look at this yes/no divide you seem to have. If a sugar scoop doesn't do it for you, try something else. Imagine yourself at the top of a ladder. With each out-breath you descend a rung, lower and lower, down, down, down you go. Quieter. Calmer. More towards where your heart is.
Go towards your truth. Go towards that place where you don't have to lie. Go towards your own honesty. There is nobody here you have to prove anything to. You are safe. Go towards your heart.
Now, speak into this circle, this safe place. Address yourself to your heart, your inner self, your soul. Address this dream you have that you have never quite achieved and gave up on so many years ago. "I want to write. It is a pain that I cannot write. I am sad about this." And, maybe your heart would say to you, "Why are you so sad?" And, you explain it is because you are shy and do not want to be the center of attention. And, your heart might say to you, "When did this happen?" And, you consider and say, "If I attract attention I attract trouble." And, your heart says to you, "That was a long time ago. Things are different now. You are a grown up person and you can take care of yourself. There will always be people who do not agree with what you say, but there are many more who will applaud your efforts. There will be those you can help."
That is a sample dialogue. Yours will surely be different for you have your own dreams, your own concerns and fears and your own courage.
How do you know you're not making all of this up? How do you know this is valid, true advice for you? You will know. A weight will lift up off of your chest or you will begin to cry. Somehow you will know.
This is a good technique to use to help you to make all sorts of decisions, not just to pry you out of a rut. Everybody has an inner self. Everybody has access to their own heart. Everyone has good inner guidance. Our blessings to you on this Thanksgiving Day of 2008.
Thanks for visiting!
Lady Skye Fyre -- Pauline