Welcome to you. Our intention with this particular essay is to speak of stress and how you might consider it. Throughout your lives you will inevitably experience stress to one degree or another. There are not too many people who do not experience stress. What however, you might consider, is how you react to stress.
If you operate from the assumption that there are good things and there are bad things in your life, which would stress come under? Would you automatically be inclined to say that stress is bad or could you say that stress might be a good thing?
We would say the effects of stress would dictate whether it is good or bad. You have heard that stress kills. In that instance you would say it is bad. However, if you were to say that you are trying to change a bad habit and it is creating stress in your life, then, that stress might be good. Because you're trying to change a bad habit into a good one. It is also assumed that the stress you are feeling is temporary in nature and once the habit is changed the stress will ease.
So, the object, then, is how to live more easily with stress, because it is not going away. You can have any number of stressful things going on in your life, but if you consider that they can sometimes be a good thing in that a little bit of stress and strain might prompt you to begin an exercise program. Which, if overdone will certainly put you six feet under real quick or, done with moderation and a sensible attitude lengthen the course of your life a good 5 years and certainly improve the quality of your life in the meantime.
Stress can be useful. Uncontrolled, it ain't fun. Think of it as water. You must have water for life. Just gotta have water. Need it every day. You need it. The crops need it. The trees and flowers need it. The animals need it. Everybody needs water. But, a flash flood? No, we don't need that. Same thing. It's water. But, too much is not a good thing. So, too with stress. A little bit is generally the motivating factor in getting you moving; either moving towards a tobacco free life, or a healthier life style, or a more productive, and in the long run, more fulfilling life's work.
You need to support your family financially. You are the mainstay and provide the financial means for the rent to be paid, for food to be purchased, for insurance to be paid, for the utilities to be paid, for telephone, for water, for electricity. For the automobile you drive, for the gasoline you use to power it. You pay the bills. And, you have the job. And, you live in terror that you are going to lose your job. Why? Why are you frightened? Because that terror, that fear is the stress you feel right now. What if you had the same job, provided adequately as you did before for the financial needs of your family but, you did not experience the fear of losing your job?
Well, we would ask you to consider why it is that you are afraid of losing your job? Is it the general feeling among people you know that you are damn lucky to have that job and it is by pure luck that you have it? Is it a generalized feeling that the economy is in poor shape and the news you hear every night reports that more and more people just like yourself have lost their jobs? Ahem. How you allow others to influence your own condition is important here. What if it were to be that you could decide how you want to be and then it happens? This is the premise behind the idea that you create your own reality. Obviously, it was important to you to feel this stress otherwise you would not have bought into it.
So, you could ask yourself why you allowed yourself to feel this stress? Just let it flow. Sit there with a piece of paper in front of you and allow yourself to get lost in this idea for a period of about 5 minutes. It's not going to take any longer than that and we will guarantee that you will begin to have a few insightful glimpses into your own behavior and life.
Okay, so now what? You're sitting at the kitchen table. You've got a piece of lined 3-hole notebook paper in front of you and a pen at hand. Write at the top of the paper, as a heading, "Why I am Scared" If you need a less inflammatory heading title it, "Why I feel Stress". To prolong the moment why don't you run some numbers down the edge of the paper. We jest, Dear Hearts. Okay, so sit there and allow your mind to drift a little bit and wait for the answers to come and trust that they will come. Remember nobody is watching. There is no answer that is silly or wrong. This is an exercise you don't have to show to anyone. If you are suddenly flooded with suggestions go ahead and write them down no matter how dumb them may sound.
Why I am Scared
1. They might think I'm lying
2. They might find out I'm dumb
3. They might hurt me
4. They might not love me
5. They might throw me away
Excuse me, this is your channel talking and I don't like this. I realize, Dear, that this is not to your liking, but you were the one who went along with it. Now, can you be unselfish enough in this exercise to include it for everybody to see what happened with your own results so that they don't feel awkward about doing their own exercise? Yes, I suppose so. Now, we would direct our next comments to the world at large, those who would be reading this essay. Our channel isn't always at her best. She's human just like the rest of you. And, that she sits here to bare her own innermost feelings is an indication that she gives of her heart to help you in your own hour of need.
Now, supposing you have gone on to do the exercise what is the next step? What do you do with the answers? Well, we could say to you that you have one of three options. You could ignore them. You could dwell upon them to wonder more about what they mean. Or, you could allow the process to continue. In this, you would neither ignore nor dwell, but would walk away from the exercise and trust that because you have pricked your blister it will now drain and eventually heal. You might ask, "Well, should I take a more active role in the healing and be there to watch it and monitor it?" Well, no, that is not necessary, though you could if you wanted to. It is enough that you have raised the question. The healing happens because you trust that it will happen. So, it might be days hence, but at some point you will begin to feel the effects of having done the above exercise.
In time you will probably be presented with the next step of healing. Either you will watch a movie or read a book that jogs your memory or see a television show that tugs particularly upon your heartstrings. And, whether you are aware of it or not this could possibly be your next step of healing.
Now, interestingly enough, the universe does provide you with tests. You had tests in school and they were there to measure your progress to see whether you were accomplished enough to go to the next level. So, too, the universe will test you. Unfortunately, it is not as cut and dried as you sitting down in front of a piece of paper. What generally happens is there will come someone or some situation that will push your buttons. So, our advice would be that once you have set yourself upon a path of healing you also be aware and alert to the fact that you will be presented with tests to see how you are doing. The general gauge to use is to say to yourself, "Okay, George came to me today in an absolute panic demanding that I help him out. I said no. Quickly, easily and I didn't buy into his problems making them my own and taking all of the stress off of him. Basically, I said, "Tough tomatoes." Now, here's your gauge to see if you are healing and able to live with stress more easily in your own life. The question you ask yourself is, "Did I handle that situation differently than I would have six months ago?" And, if you can say, "Yes". Then, you're doing better.
It is a gradual process. There will always be stress. It's how you react to it that is important. Because, yes, stress can be harmful, but it can also be useful. Our blessings to you and chill out.
Hi everybody. Hello, Dear. You have a question? Yes, sort of. Or a comment. Go ahead. Ah, aren't we taught to be helpful and giving? Yes. Isn't telling old George to take a hike not in line with acting good? In a sense it is. However, George is also using you, or rather the person in the example. George is once again going to get you to do his work so he can go do whatever pleases him and figuring out his own problems is not something he is accustomed to doing. Basically, yes, it sounds to be selfish on your part, but if you were to look beyond the immediacy of the situation it is you turning aside someone who has been using you. Does that make sense? Yes, but it still sounds sort of selfish. Do you want to wait until the levels of stress are so high that all you can do is scream at George or do you want to do this in an adult fashion and tell the man, "No. I'm sorry, but I can't help you." You don't owe George any explanation for why you are not going to help him. Just tell him no.
This is hard. Yes, it is sometimes hard. But, you also don't need to worry it to death either. Just be aware that there will always be stress in your lives and it is your right to decide to what degree you will allow it to dictate your actions. You can, in moving toward better personal habits or improved health decide it is time to go on a diet or quit smoking; know that it will be stressful, try to make the adjustments you need to make in your life and move forward. Or not. Your decision.
We would say wallowing in fear or panic or abusive situations is not necessary. You can take the bull by the horns and do something about the quality of your life.
Feeling stress is not living in the moment. Feeling stress is not living a centered life. Feeling stress is inviting trouble into your life. Feeling stress is something that you can control. Change your habits. Take yourself to the doctor. Talk about your feelings. Surrender. Allow healing to commence. You'll feel much better.
Now, a humorous story which involves our channel. Recently a man made famous for his acting, but mostly for his portrayal of a particular character passed away. Many mourned his passing, both because he had been so renowned as an actor, but also for the work he did on behalf of those with injuries after he himself suffered a paralyzing condition. You might say the most important work this man ever did was at the end of his life in regard to the hope he gave to those who suffered and the support he gave to research. Our channel can talk to anybody who has passed. Regularly she will speak to those who've just passed on to say, "Hello" and, "Are you okay?" And, when this particular gentleman passed on they had a few words while she was at work. It did not surprise her for she, as we said, regularly talks to those who've passed on and who come into her awareness. But, this time the gentleman in question asked if she'd like to have his autograph. She laughed and said, "Sure". He penned out "Superman" for her. She laughed in delight and folded the paper carefully to save, never to show anyone for who would ever believe her.