I’ve got to say the worst piece of furniture a
person could have in their house is a couch that farts. Personally, I’ve never
had a piece of furniture like that, but my grandparents did. For some reason
(there were five of us kids), they had every single inch of their upholstered
living room furniture covered in custom-covered plastic. I mean, there were
even plastic-covered cords used along the edges. And every time you sat on it
and then tried to get up, especially if you were wearing a skirt or shorts, you
produced a fart noise. Again, there were five kids, all size small, which
always involves a bunch of scooting around on adult-sized furniture.
So, that was one thing.
The other thing is that once in my life, I had a
beautiful pair of shoes. I was just getting to be a teenager, and my mother gave
them to me. I’d admired them for ages, and they were my first pair of slip-ons.
They farted when it got hot. Now, I wonder if she gave them to me because they
farted on her, too.
Farting was a great pastime in our house. We
(the kids) invented a rule that when somebody farted, everybody had to knock on
wood (veneer was included), otherwise the last person who knocked ate it. Ate
the fart. We had a Rambler station wagon once that had a veneer strip, like a
racing stripe, down the side of the car on the outside. The people sitting next
to the windows were safe. The people sitting in the middle were not. Anybody
sitting in the back of the car couldn’t reach wood, so they always ate the
farts too.
Every once in a while, Dennis and I will knock
wood, and it cracks us up every time. He is 78, and I am 70 years old. Yes,
farts never get old. Also, in his family, when his father farted, he’d look up
at the ceiling and say, “Ducks!” That was also funny. So, farts were also funny
in his family.
Sometimes the idea for a story eludes me. This
one did not. Actually, I can’t say why I am writing it now other than maybe I
needed a laugh.
Now, since this is a psychic sort of website, I
thought I might interview my Spirit Guide, Seth, on the matter. (Please note that I will put Spirit's portion of this blog post in a bold italic font.)
No, wait. You can’t do
that.
Why not?
Because it is unseemly. Most
of us up here are very staid and responsible spooks.
Hah! You said spooks.
Yes, I did. Some of us are,
and there are others who are teachers. You have religious leaders and the
occasional saint who comes to visit. Not often with the crowd around you,
though. There are several comedians who are always looking for new material.
And, of course, your parents are here too.
Shoot, did they say anything?
Your mother is holding her
nose.
Jesus.
Well, since you mentioned
it, he is here too.
What is this, a zoo?
Sometimes, it resembles
one.
Okay, I did say I would channel every day. Here’s
the bit for Talking to Spirit. Now, if you are here for the first time, you
might be a bit taken aback to learn that Spirit sounds like it does. I’ve pointed out before that a violin can play all sorts of music, from classical to honkytonk country. You should have heard them back when I was a drinking woman.
Yes, I believe we can wrap this up. I believe I can say for all of us gathered, we are pleased that you don’t drink anymore.
Hey, thanks for reading. For your convenience or
curiosity, I’ve listed some other places where I’m active on the internet.
Love,
🌺
Pauline Evanosky
Pauline Evanosky on Medium
Talking To Spirit on Substack
Talking To Spirit — my website
Pauline Evanosky — my author’s website
My Table of Contents for Medium — Updated Monthly
My Table of Contents for Substack — Also Updated Monthly
References I recommend on your path to more psychic awareness
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