Oh, Happy Accident

My job as a psychic is not to warn you of what will happen. My job is to help you withstand whatever horrible thing happens. I don’t know if it will be tomorrow or two years from now.

Besides, what is horrible to one person might be a minor inconvenience to somebody else. The goal is to let whatever bad stuff happens unfold as it has to, then pick yourself up and move on. Between those are the bigger life lessons. I can’t tell you what they are. My own involves having patience with myself and with others. Also, I grew up with my father having a hair-trigger anger problem. If you got in his way, well, let’s just say it was bad. Evidently, I learned it a little too well and, for years, had a problem with both being angry at myself and others. It took me years to get to this point, and even then, it still bubbles up sometimes.

I doubt it will ever be completely solved, but I can look at it now and see how it is one of my own life lessons. Something you can learn about your entire life.

So, if you find yourself blaming others for the bad stuff that happens, consider stopping that. Besides, you have a vote. Sometimes you just can’t stop bad stuff from steamrolling. But you can get out of the way.

It’s like this. Here you have Life. Stand back and consider. For some people, life is an adventure. They have fun. They face challenges with grace. They are able to think fast on their feet. They overcome whatever obstacles they encounter. They don’t blame others.

Other people are held back in life by early conditioning. I used to think I was a victim, and again, that is something I’ve learned I don’t have to be. Another life lesson.

So, I’m not going to tell you exactly what is wrong. You probably wouldn’t believe me anyway. You have to be the solver of your own problems. There is no this is totally wrong and this is totally right. Life is not black or white. There are greys in between. It’s a lifelong thing to work through your own stuff.

Just keep trying.

How do you figure out what to work on first? It’s the stuff that’s always happening to you, even though you know better. For instance, what if you are having problems in your love life? What if every single guy you date turns out to be a loser? Are they losers? Maybe. Ask yourself why you are attracted to these people. I figure everyone has a redeeming quality. Maybe in a different situation this loser of a boyfriend is actually one of the good guys?

My advice, which I follow myself, is to write things down in a journal. I am using a computer document that's currently on Volume #5. They would just get too large for Word to handle, though I have been told that Word can handle 1,000 pages with ease. That hasn’t been my experience. The journal is private. Put a password on it if you share your computer with somebody else. Get on your soapbox and shout to the world. When you get tired of that, go seek some psychotherapy.

When you get a therapist, and I’ve had several over the years, they are going to ask you what is bothering you now. Not what bothered you years ago. What is interfering with you living a happy life right now. Then, you both take it from there. They will want to hear your thoughts. They will make some comments. You’ll probably get angry and say they aren’t understanding what you’re talking about, but they do. They will give you some homework and schedule another time to meet. In my experience, early meetings are closer together, and as I get better at coping with life, our visits get farther and farther apart.

I was lucky to have a friend who was a psychotherapist, and although he could not be my therapist because of a conflict of interest, he was always there to help me. I remember once I’d gone through many visits with a therapist and stopped going.

Then, something happened. I couldn’t even tell you what it was, but it seemed whatever it was had struck me down. It was like all the worthwhile work I’d done with the therapist had all circled and gone down the drain. I thought I hadn’t done it right. I even thought if I were somebody else, I would have shouted that my therapist hadn’t done the job right.

Thayer stopped me and explained to me that therapy isn’t like that. Your therapist only takes you as far as you want to go. You feel better. Life is good. You can live a fulfilling life. So, you quit going to therapy. He explained that your higher self realized you were stronger and could handle tougher things. So, you got tested. Hence, the rug got pulled out from underneath you.

This is where the term that my Spirit Guide, Seth, coined, “Oh, Happy Accident!” comes in. So, you go back to therapy. You learn more skills to cope with upsets, and you’re good to go. Again.

Over time, you build an arsenal of tools that help you maintain an even keel or get back on it. For me, that means writing in my journal every day. I seek more meditative moments. Right in the middle of writing this piece, I took that deeper-than-usual breath and sought guidance so that I could help you cope with your issues, whatever they might be.

We can learn from everything. Some people never seem to learn, and others do. I’m hoping you’ll be part of that latter group. It certainly makes for a more interesting life.

Thanks for reading.

Pauline Evanosky
Where I Am