When I set out to learn how to be a psychic, I had a list of things longer than your arm that I thought I needed to do. It was a serious business helping people. That’s what I thought, and it is. But learning how to do it didn’t have to be serious. I didn’t realize that for a very long time, which is probably why it took me over five years to finally break through and start channeling.
I had this vision in my head of an invisible veil that hung between the two
planes of existence. As you might think there could be between Heaven and
Earth. Sort of like a one-way curtain. You get to the one spot, and you’re not
coming back.
So, I had that fear. I didn’t realize it was that fear that held
me back. It turns out that even though it is something you’ve never experienced
before, once you get there, it will seem like home and all be quite familiar to
you. No big deal.
Being able to pretend is such a big part of reaching through to your psychic
senses. I used to complain to my Spirit Guide and ask why I couldn’t be like
one of those people who had psychic experiences as a child and had been able to
shape my life that way. I could have been a psychic years before. Seth said to
me, “You wouldn’t have survived.” Thinking back, I wonder how absolute he was
when he said it that way. Also, pretty dramatic, but he did have a point.
The family I grew up in wasn’t used to artsy types. Wanting to be a writer
was a no-go. I really had only two options: Wife and Mother. Of course, that
was the same for many women at the time. If you wanted to have a profession,
well, there was nursing; God forbid you even consider being a physician. Women
could be stewardesses, but I just wasn’t pretty enough. It wasn't even possible to fly a plane. You could be a
secretary, or you could be a teacher. When my mother went to college, she
changed her major 7 times in two years because my grandfather said he would
never pay for her to become an interior decorator. And that was that.
I have been blessed with a supportive husband. Though many members of my
family didn’t know what to do with me, my husband encouraged me. I remember I
had been doing all sorts of metaphysical studying, and I said cautiously that I
wanted to buy a deck of Tarot cards. I was surprised when he said I should. The
same thing happened when I wanted to buy a Ouija board. He agreed and said it
was time. Both were tools I used to help me connect with my
Spirit Guide. Could I have used other routes? Of course. And so can you. But
that was the trajectory I took.
As I think about it now, the things that helped the most were me
understanding how to deal with and heal from psychologically damaging stuff. I
regained a sense of self-worth. I realized that writing was a way to do that. I
learned how to draw and attempted to play the piano. I grew up. The right way.
Now? I’m a bad-ass old lady and happy with it.
I have long maintained that the failures we run into on any project are only
steps in the right direction. So, you didn’t fail. You just haven’t gotten
there yet. And when you look at things that way, the world is a much friendlier
place.
Playing with the learning was important for me. As I said, it wasn’t
something that I knew right away. I had to strip away the veneer of adulthood
to find the childlike me that was still there. The one that loved to smear
chocolate pudding all over the place.
I try now to treat anything new that I’m learning with an element of fun in
it. Yes, the learning curve might be long, but eventually I get closer and
closer. I hope you do that too whatever it is you set out to do.
Thanks for reading,
Pauline Evanosky
Where I am
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