Waiting for Happiness

When I was a child, I was told to wait until I grew up. For what? Pretty much for everything. Wait until I could wear high heels. Wait until I could wear makeup. Wait until I was old enough to get married. Wait until I was 16, 18, or 21 years old.

It was a waiting game, waiting for happiness.

So, as an adult, I kept waiting for happiness. Happiness, evidently, was tied to lots of different conditions. Wait until you have enough money to buy a house. Wait until you’ve worked at a company before you ask for a raise. Wait until a position opens before you ask for a promotion within the company.

It wasn’t until I was middle-aged that I realized I shouldn’t wait for happiness to come knocking at my door. I had to learn how to take responsibility for my life and go chase happiness. This plan, however, led to various results. Yes, seeking happiness was better than waiting for it, but it still felt like happiness was something outside of me. It was elusive.

Years passed, and gradually I realized that I had to be happy in order to attract happiness. Nobody and nothing was going to make me happy. I had to do that.

Lots of people say you have to love yourself before you can find somebody to love you. The same thing goes for happiness.

Begin the process of taking the steps needed to realize your own dreams. Mine was, “I want to be a writer.” How? How do you do that?

Well, you need to write. For others? No, in the beginning you write for yourself. All the heartaches you have experienced. Remember them on paper. Maybe you’ll need to cry a little bit. That’s okay. Maybe you’ll get angry. What about that? Well, that’s okay too. Do it on paper. Don’t show anybody. This is your personal stuff.

You know what they say about any writer’s first book? They say it is autobiographical in nature. So, get that first book out of the way by writing a million words on paper.

Find somewhere to begin publishing what you write. Create your own website for free on Blogspot. That’s where this one is. I bought the domain name. It wasn’t too expensive. Or, don’t even do that. I had free Blogspots for years. I’m talking 25 years.

Or, like Steve Martin says when he’s offering advice to up-and-coming comics. Go where the comedy is. I would say that you could go where the writers are. Substack, Medium, or Vocal Media. There are many other writing platforms out there. Some cost money (Medium is $5 a month), while others, like Substack, are free.

To be a writer, you need to write. It’s nice to have readers.

In any case, whatever your dream is, it won't arrive fully formed. In fact, that’s what dreams do. They are wisps from your heart, tendrils that reach out to embrace something. You need to be there to direct the action.

Thanks for reading. Follow me for more. I’ve put a link to where I am online below my name.

Pauline Evanosky
Where I Am