Is There Sex in Heaven?

 

Created by Pauline in Canva

Just for fun, I want to do a post that might attract some readers. I noticed that my readership is dipping a bit, which, with Thanksgiving almost here and Christmas and New Year’s celebrations approaching, and folks out spending money —or at least window shopping —probably not many people are reading these days. I’m going to ask my Spirit Guide, Seth, about sex in Heaven. His part will be in a bold italic font. 

So, Seth?

Yes, ma’am?

Ha, that’s funny. You never call me ma’am.

Well, I did that time.

So, do you want to talk about sex?

Sure. What about it?

Is it better in Heaven than it is on Earth?

Well, there is certainly more of it.

Really? Just people or everybody?

Pretty much everybody enjoys some form of congress up here.

Like rabbits?

Yes, them too.

Goldfish?

Definitely.

Nobody gets pregnant?

God forbid.

Ha.

I thought you’d like that answer. Think of it this way. People have hangups on Earth. They just do. Sometimes, they might not be able to enjoy the joy of sex to its fullest while they are in their bodies. Heaven is where the mantle of Earth slides away, and you are more your truest self. In Heaven, a person does not need to be concerned about the same things they spent time worrying about on Earth.

No, really, I’m not kidding. I’ve never heard a priest, a minister, or a psychic talk about sex in Heaven.

Your own mother told you it was great.

Yes, but I wasn’t too sure what to think about that one. It was the first thing she said to me after she died.

Well, she was anxious that you know about it.

Check. Do you think folks will read this? Especially if we’re talking about sex.

I think you might get a few interested parties. Remember, you are not much different from the ancestors you had on the Maryland Board of Censors.

I wonder what they were like?

Staid, I would imagine.

Dad said he used to get to watch all the dirty movies.

Well, they weren’t necessarily dirty compared to today’s standards, but yes, a little boy of ten might not be expected to have watched movies like that.

I’d forgotten all about that. So, anything else you can tell us about sex in Heaven?

You don’t get all hot and sweaty.

Okay. Is this sort of tongue-in-cheek what you’re telling us?

Not at all. Scout’s honor.

I’ll bet there are some folks up there with you laughing.

Can you hear them? I told them to be quiet.

Now I know you are teasing. Okay, folks, this is what it is like to talk to people in Spirit. It’s the same as talking to folks in skin.

My word. You’ve never described humans like that before.

Well, you are out of skin, and I am in skin. Right?

Yes, if you want to call it that.

Or, like I wear clothes, and for all I know, you all walk around in the buff all the time.

No, it’s important to wear pants. Being naked, you could catch parts on park benches and such.

It’s a good thing I don’t drink anymore.

Yes, ma’am.

Thanks for reading. I’ve got some links below if you want to see what other things I do on the internet.

🌺 Pauline Evanosky

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