I made this picture in Canva. Ben picked out his own photo.
I might describe myself as a stubborn learner. I held onto the idea of who I was for a long time. I was Pauline. I was married. I was competent. Those are the things I was.
What I became was something else. Reality slipped. A little.
The person I was before was interested in spirituality, but
with the shadow of my parents, I was afraid to move too far.
It was the reading that did it.
Also, their being too busy or uninterested in what I was
doing was helpful. How are you? Fine. Are you sure nothing is wrong? No,
nothing is wrong. And so, I grew up. I can’t imagine any of you had a very different
childhood. There was nobody to hound me about what I was doing other than to
admonish me that I read too much. I liked reading. It was preferable to making
friends. That’s just the life of an Army Brat. We all went through it. There
are support groups for Army Brats now. What it was like to have no roots. To
have to leave your friends every 18 months. To never see them again.
That hurts. It still does. It’s never going to get better.
At least, I don’t think it will.
I am a loner. Which is fine. I get more writing done.
The idea was to gain enough experience to be an expert in
whatever I was going to be writing about. I couldn’t claim to be a mother,
though I had one. I never had children. It doesn’t bother me much anymore,
though there were many years when I felt real despair. That despair does come
back to be with me occasionally. Like on Mother’s Day. I have the advantage,
though, of knowing that I’ve been a mother in other lifetimes and in whatever
lifetimes I have ahead of me.
There is one man who visited me and will occasionally pop
in. His name is Ben. He is a tall black man. Sturdy. True. Loving. I can’t
write about him without breaking down. He said to me, “I am your son.” I am a
psychic medium, and this man is not presently flesh and blood. He came to me in
Spirit, and even now, as I write about him, he stands at my shoulder.
Ben?
Yes?
This hurts.
It will always hurt. Think of the things in this
lifetime that you hold close. When you pass on, these things will still be
important to you. Just not to the intensity that you hold them now. Interests
are like clouds that move across the sky. Think of the larger picture, and that
cloud becomes the you that you were 200 years ago. It’s a beautiful cloud, but
you cannot touch it as you did the things in that lifetime. This does not
grieve you. I was taken from you. I was sold. I was beaten. I was tortured.
That is not now of importance. I have you now. I will always be able to be with
you as you can be with me. Remember what your Spirit Guide said to you in regard
to the past life regressions you took. Yes, there is sadness and terror in
people’s lives. But there is also happiness. I have the happiness now. It
stands forth, and I can look at it just the same as I can see a cloud.
You’re a good son.
I’m back again. I had to take a break and move through a
handful of Kleenex. That came out of nowhere. Ben has never said some of those
things he just said to me, just now. So, that’s what my life is like these days
as a psychic channel. My reality is still the reality I had before; it’s just
that I know there is more to it. It can be that way for you, too, if you want.
Check out some of the resources I have at the bottom of this article. These are
the books I’ve used in the past to learn how to talk to Spirit. And sons.
Thanks for reading.
🌺My Links:
Talking To
Spirit — my website since 2001
Pauline
Evanosky on Medium
Talking To
Spirit on Substack
Pauline Evanosky — my author’s website
My Table of Contents for Medium — Updated Monthly
My Table of Contents for Substack — Also Updated Monthly
Facebook for shorter
pieces
References I recommend on your path to more psychic awareness from
TalkingtoSpirit.com
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